Friday, November 18, 2011

Step Right Up

Has anyone else had a fear of feeling the blade cut them during surgery? Especially during a C-section when you're awake? Or waking up during surgery? I chalk these fears up to reality TV. 

Having a C-section is a helpless feeling. You lay awake on a cold table in a cold white room with your arms tied down out to your side. There is a blue drape angled up from your stomach over your head so you aren't able to see the operation. Lots of machines hooked up to the mother. You can't feel anything from your ribs down. I know the end result is the same whether a mom gives birth in a birthing room or in an OR. In the end, a baby is born.

But having a baby for me is about the experience. It's the process, the journey of this tiny being emerging from the warmth and safety of my womb, to the shock of the physical world. To me, it is the most connected I have ever felt to myself. Physically, spiritually and emotionally it is one heck of a ride. Very intimate and extremely powerful. I had a wonderful experience with the birth of our son and I wept what I was missing with my baby girl. Now we were focusing on saving our lives and getting through the pain.

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