Saturday, February 13, 2010

Ruby Red

Have you ever felt as if you were in an action movie where the bad guys are coming fast and feverishly toward you, the good guy? You're fighting them off but it's all in slow motion. That's what I felt like when my "What if" came true.

Blood. Lots and lots of red blood gushing as if my water had broken. Anytime you see blood, especially when you're pregnant, it’s usually not a sign that things are going well. I knew this bleeding was not good for my daughter and as I recall in my slow motion moment, I watched as my greatest fears came true in front of me.

Shock, terror, and time were standing still. Literally. I clearly remember a moment of lucidness as I observed the ruby red color of the blood and thought to myself, “This can’t be good,” From there, my mind observed that I should move off the carpet and onto the linoleum floor so it would be easier to clean up the blood. These thought patterns felt as if they took forever, but I believe it was only a few seconds. Looking back at that moment, those thoughts seemed to be the one thing I could control as my life was spinning out of control. I laugh at it now but at the time it seemed logical to worry about the carpet even as someone dialed 911.

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